Okay, so I have to talk in church in a few weeks. My topic is Sacrifice, specifically sacrifices that we make that help build out character and our talents. Any thoughts on this? Ideas? Suggestions? Personal Experience in making sacrifices that have helped to build you character/talents????
thx
Mwah!
11 comments:
~~~~specifically sacrifices that we make that help build out character and our talents. Any thoughts on this? Ideas? Suggestions? Personal Experience in making sacrifices that have helped to build you character/talents????~~~~~
I think making sacrifices to build character and talents is stupid, lol.
That, and I HATE the term "sacrifices" now. It's not sacrifices.... it's called COMPROMISE.
Sacrificing is... well, it's not healthy, IMNSHO. Sacrifice is --- the surrender or destruction of something prized or desirable for the sake of something considered as having a higher or more pressing claim. according to dictionary.com. If you are giving something up to get something you want more, how is that sacrifice? Prioritizing... compromise, etc. But sacrifice? Sacrifice in the church seems to have become giving something up for someone else in a completely selfless way. Sacrificing time, money, etc where all you get are the good, warm, fuzzy feelings in return.
And, again IMNSHO, people who do that, who sacrifice so they can have the warm fuzzy feelings, don't do it out of altruism. They do it because it gives them a sense of being better. Either they feel poorly about themselves and need the boost or they want to feel better than someone else.
In other words, sacrifice is a load of shit. It's unhealthy. Constantly giving of yourself and depriving yourself is extremely unhealthy. Boundaries are a good thing. Taking care of oneself is a good thing. Putting myself first and being happy and healthy for my kids because I took care of myself, is a good thing. I'm a better mom when I don't overextend myself, when I pamper myself some, then I am when I stretch myself to the limit "sacrificing" for everyone else.
But, I guess that doesn't really help you out, does it? Maybe you should talk about how to sacrifice in a healthy manner.
Being a mom! I am sure you sacrifice all you have for them, including time, your body, your interestes. And all of this helps you become more like our Heavenly parents. What more scarifice and you give and what more of a character bulider can you get. And you're a good wife too. Moving to do what your hubby want to or staying behind when he is at the border...I bet that built character and I can only imagine what a sacrifice that was.
Well, Jennifer, I wanted to publish this comment b/c I think it poses a really interesting question. I think that you can make sacrifices for other people and not expect anything in return, but still have the knowledge that you have contributed to them. Why is making someone else happy selfish? Sure I get the warm fuzzies, but if I give $$ to a charity that helps children with cleft palettes, money that I could be spending on other things for my family, that teaches my children the value of service and empathy and builds their character and mine. We all win! I think that's the idea!
Is not using a credit card and "sacrificing" the worldly wants of the now for the greater good to come when I pay off my car bs?? I don't think so, and it has definitely built my character! I agree that there are boundaries and you have to learn when to say no, but I still don't think that all sacrifices are stupid. If I give up that King Size Snickers Bar now, and oh do I want it!... it will pay off in the long run and build my character... by teaching me self discipline. :) So I don't think sacrifice is BS or has to be seen as something negative or altruistic. There are genuinely giving people in this world. I don't know that I am one of them yet, but I would like to be someday.
Thanks for your comment, Terri. I think being a mom is a big sacrifice! We are building character there... their character! And thanks so much for mentioning that. It was a huge sacrifice to be away from him, and definitely taught me how to be self reliant... or for that fact, to humble myself and ask for help when I couldn't do things on my own!
Isn't that just prioritizing?
Giving up a Snickers bar for a slimmer body is sacrifice only if you don't really want a slimmer body and are doing it because you think you HAVE to or because you feel forced to. Otherwise it's just prioritizing and self-control.
Though I'll give you the one of your H being at the border. That is sacrificing.
Kids I'm still out on. Kids are hard. Having kids and being a parent are hard things. But sacrifice? Does it have to be a sacrifice because it's hard? I think hard automatically equates things with sacrifice. If it's hard, it's GOT to be a sacrifice to do it, right? I don't think I buy that....
Yes, it is sacrifice for me to give up the snickers... even if there is a better body in sight... LOL
For me, the most 'spiritually stretching' experiences that I've had are those when I sacrifice what I want - or what I think I want - in life for what the Lord is telling me to do. Sometimes there is a conflict between what I know I *should* do and what I want to do. When I choose the Lord's path I always grow and become better. Sometimes this type of sacrificing does mean "the surrendering or destruction of something prized or desirable for the sake of something considered as having a higher or more pressing claim". Note that this definition mentions a more pressing CLAIM, not a more pressing WANT or DESIRE. Sometimes the CLAIM that is pressing has nothing to do with what you want. And its in those moments that I've experienced the most growth.
You know, like sacrificing health for 9 months to bring a baby into the world. The baby will be great and all that... but that doesn't help me NOW. Now what helps me is the spiritual growth I've been experiencing as I draw upon the Atonement to get me through. That, I know, you can identify with.
Absolutely, Leah. Thanks.
Isn't Leah just describing delayed gratification? Is that the same as sacrifice?
Delaying gratification is character building, and a sign of maturity. I am not sure that it qualifies as sacrificial.
To my mind, a sacrifice is giving something up for some greater good--something for which you yourself will not receive the benefit. For instance, the soldier who sacrifices himself to save an Iraqi child or one of his comrades. His is a true sacrifice--he expects nothing in return.
Expecting a return on sacrifice, even if it is "character building", renders the definition of sacrifice meaningless.
I'm pretty sure that what Leah is going through in her pregnancy would be considered a sacrifice.
Okay... the candy bar thing, I get that. :P But I agree on the 'Soldier' bit. That is a sacrifice. And no, technically, he gets nothing in return... except a one-way ticket to heaven. Jennifer said the definition was giving something up for the sake of something else with a higher "claim"... whatever that means... so yes, a true sacrifice would be expecting nothing in return, I suppose, but look at what that soldiers gained... he saved a life. And even if he personally gets nothing out of it, the person he saved's family gains more time with their loved one. So something is gotten, just not by him...??? MAN YoU GUYS ARE ALL MAKING ME THINK TO HARD! lol. I just wanted simple answers and now I have to think harder about what is and what isn't a sacrifice. Sheesh...
Just because SOMEONE gets something out of it doesn't make it NOT sacrifice. The sacrifice comes from the person giving who doesn't get anything out of it personally. At least, IMO.
A difficult pregnancy (beyond the normal difficultiness of pregnancy) is a sacrifice. Being pregnant in general, not so much. Being so sick you can't function, there is definitely sacrifice involved, especially on the parts of the husband and the other kids. While it was somewhat of a sacrifice for me to be on bedrest or for me to be unable to walk in pregnancy, it was much more of a sacrifice on Frank and the kids' parts.
But just sacrificing and no one getting anything out of it? That's masochistic.
Seriously, I've been thinking a lot about this and I think "sacrifice" has been watered down SO much that it is almost meaningless. People view it as a sacrifice to make an extra meal for someone for dinner. Or raising kids. Or driving their beat up car longer or whatever. That demeans the real sacrifices, imo. And IMO, you can't PLAN to sacrifice. The soldier doesn't say, "I'll die today to save someone else." The mom doesn't say, "This pregnancy will be uber hard so I can learn sacrifice." It's just coping with what you are presented with and handling it with honesty and integrity. IOW, you already have to have the character in ORDER to sacrifice.
There are exceptions to that. My mom surprised and impressed me with how she handled her cancer. I didn't think that she'd take it the way she did. She grew from it and was someone I was very proud of when she died. I still don't know if I would call it a sacrifice on her part to have cancer because there was NO choice in that. It's just what was.
The soldier and the mother have some control to make different choices and have different outcomes.
I wasn't saying that it's not a sacrifice b/c something got something out of it!!! Someone usually gets something out of someone else's sacrifice. Look at Jesus Christ. I got a lot out of that!
"You already have to have the character in ORDER to sacrifice." That is an awesome quote. I'm using that.
I agree with what you said. I really liked that, about already having the character. So true. B/C if you didn't who's to say you would have made those sacrifices in the first place. This is gonna be an interesting talk. Trying to figure out what sacrifices we make b/c they are situations thrown at us vs. us making the decision to sacrifice and what constitutes "true" sacrifice.
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